My Grandpa is finally home! Hurray and Hallelujah! Although the past two weeks have been fraught with stress and tribulation and more to come, there have been many bright rays of funnies to lighten up the dreariness. Here is one of my favorites.
Being here in Puerto Rico is always an "experience." I say that because I never leave without a armful of memorables and hysterical stories. What can I say, the Island's good to me. As you might have assumed I have been staying at my Grandparents house. There are so many shadows of childhood scattered about this place and finding myself lost in thought is not uncommon. However, for all it's charm, it comes with it's fair share of interesting.
Their house is in fact situated in the bustling metropolis of greater San Juan; Otherwise known as, the Jetto or Ghetto for all my literal folks. As a child I don't remember it being as it is now, a sprawling collection of bus driving, reggaeton blaring, poultry raising crazies but it is what it is and at least my Grandparents aren't in want of company.
My moment of enlightenment came my first night. I was exhausted from my non-stop flight from LAX to San Juan earlier that morning, which was quite a unforgettable affair enough as it was. There I was, in the middle seat. To my right the businessman, nothing too exciting there but to my left a women sporting ski pants. What an absorbing choice considering we were Caribbean bound. I had been catching up on LOST and even considered the ludicrous notion that perhaps she too had ventured into an icey room, spun the magic wheel, moved the island and hadn't yet had time to change. For those who are not as ridiculously addicted as I am to the show and have no idea what I'm talking about. I apologize. I eventually decided against asking why she had curiously chosen that trouser, for fear that perhaps I was just seeing things and then that would just be awkward." Uh, these are jeans." Anyways, I digress.
The first night I fell asleep to the sound of chirping frogs, various insects... my neighbors off pitch Luis Fonsi memorials. I was too fatigued to care. However, at about two o'clock in the morning the fun began. At first, it was a dwarfish moan, and then another equally so would follow after a few seconds. It sounded like someone was calling for help. I turned over and drew my teddy closer, telling myself I was just hearing things and "don't be ridiculous." Yet there it was again! This time the pleas weren't spaced apart but were becoming all the more rapid. High pitched and feverish I buried my head in my pillow in attempt to escape the screams now that were filling my ears. As they reached a climax I sprung out of bed and like a ninny, rushed, well more like hobbled, to my Aunt and shook her awake. " TiTi. Do you hear the voices!?" I demanded. You could just imagine the look on her face as her dreary eyed neice shook her awake because she claimed to be hearing "voices." She handled it well I think. " No, Nichole, those are just some cats. Go back to bed." I didn't believe her, instead I opted to sleep with my Aunt. I was a tad shaken up and made a pact to lay off the LOST marathons.
As our neighbor drove us to the Hospital the next morning my aunt in the midst of lighthearted and cordial conversation mentioned the story to Dona Erma. As my Aunt recounted the prior night's events Dona Erma began to laugh and laugh...and laugh some more. As my spanish was a little rusty and I was still weary from my lack of sleep I couldn't make sense of my eldery chauffeurs response. What's so funny? I asked. She paused from her delight and responded: "Los gatos esta enamorado." Which translates to: They were doing the do.
In fact, I wasn't awakened by desperate pleas for help but instead by they orgasmic cries of some neighborhood cats. I couldn't help but laugh right along with her. Since that restless night I have purchased "ear seal" earplugs which although will keep me joyously traversing through dreamland might perhaps kill me if ever there was a situation where hearing was necessary, burning house, shrouded intruder for instance. I would have done anything to keep from being awakened by those feline wails again though. So that's a risk I'm more then willing to take.
To be honest though, a small part of me still wonders... if maybe, I'm a cat whisperer.