Wednesday, April 27, 2011
:: For in subjecting all things to Him, He left nothing that is not subject to Him. But now we do not yet see all the things subjected to Him but we do see Him...:: Hebrews 2:8b-9a
we do see Him...so much of this sentiment encapsulates the position of my heart right now.
So much of what's ahead is unknown. There are plenty of possibilities that go on living in my head but I have been made deeply aware to the vast unknowed-ness of the future.
possibilities are not truth...Fantasies, dreams and hopes, not a reality. All I know, is that God has the stunning ability to work sorrow and suffering and the dirty garments of this world into something miraculous and amazing. I always end up coming out of these times, Hinds Feet on High Places. My heart sprung open, colors and hymns and songs of praise spilling out to the Lord who has captured my gaze. My lover, my loving Shepherd.
i know not what is ahead, but I see Him.
i see Him. I see how He has deftly, as only God can, orchestrated my life. How many fingerprints, indentions made for remembrance are those scattered about the story of my life.
i know not what's ahead, but I do see Him. He is here, amongst the downy covers of my patio hide-a-way, in the sky to which I glance to so often now. The hazy blue a reminder that life is so much bigger than my current preoccupations and He is here, in me.
the warmth of His nearness, His nowness brings pain-filled tears to my eyes. The romancer lives and dwells within me.
i know not what is ahead but I do See Him. He has been all over this season since the very beginning...back in May when depression assailed me and my season of helplessness began....
trust. trust.trust. trust
trust me nichole, when you have no where to live, trust me when you have no source of income. Trust me when a man is brought into your life and when he is taken away. Trust me that your pain will soon give way to peace, strength, endurance and wisdom.
i have been granted a gift. My own eyes opened to my true state: A helpless, wretched babe, deeply, greatly in need of a Savior. A fearful seedling, not an oak as I so often have seen myself to be. I am weak. I have always been this way.
Now, as broken and raw and taken to the end of me, I realize this: I can do nothing apart from Christ. I have nothing apart from Christ. This is life, truly as it is: utter dependence on God.
more than simply knowing that... I am living it. I am experiencing it.