Recommedation #4

#4. Not trying to cut your own bangs.

For my fourth recommend I thought I'd switch it around a bit and rather then suggesting, I would not suggest cutting your own bangs. For most, the prior statement might be a no-brainer. I can barely cut in a straight line, why would I take that risk with something on my face?

Well, for me it wasn't that obvious and I eagerly took it upon myself to redeem the otherwise terrifying notion. I would cut my bangs and do a smashing job! My choice to attempt the alteration on my own was influenced mostly by my boredom and my pocketbook. Seeing as my mother had taken me to the hair salon not two weeks prior and paid for a trim of my swooshy side bangs, it seemed wasteful to pay another thirty dollars for my new desired look. Also, I was po' and had no monies. So, armed with my brothers comb and a pair of scissors, I absconded from my mothers sewing basket, I set out on the grand adventure of hairstyle(ary).

So far the only instruction I had received on the cutting of bangs was a brief, though thorough, lesson from a family friend last summer. I'm sorry to admit but I remembered very little of the seminar except that cutting bangs is a lot harder then it looks. I amended this misfortune by watching many a youtube video. I learned quite a bit. For instance, one should never cut straight across, remember the whole inability to cut a straight line deal? Turns out it applies to hair too. My favorite tutorial involved a charming Asian women warning of the dangers of bang alteration with: "Ma Sur tu cuh na tu fah, o you wi hae coconut head." Translation: If you cut too much hair you will look like Friar Tuck. I'll admit, this scared me a little. I surely did not want to walk around with hair resembling a tropical fruit, or a monk for that matter, so I made sure not to get too trigger happy. I would only cut what I needed to.

To be honest, the whole deal went on without a hitch. Other than getting hair everywhere and cutting off a piece of my eyelid we were smooth sailing. I made sure to cut whilst heeding every bit of instruction and was quite proud of the results. The problem, occured a day later. I was putting in my contacts in the morning and soon thereafter checked on the wounded eyelid. It was healing up nicely. Imagine my shock when I glanced above the cut and saw a wide gash in my eyebrow; I had sliced off the middle of it. As I mentioned before, because you are not advised to cut straight across, hairstylists encourage the vertical technique. This is where the sissors cut upward into the bangs rather than side to side. Seems I got a little over zealous and decided to trim my eyebrow as well.

I partially blame my mother's sewing scissors for my slip, they were unexpectedly sharp; even though it was either them or the scrapbooking option that would have made my hair look like lace. I don't even know if it would have been possible to use those anyway. Eh, it was a thought. So, really I had no alternative. Funny, eyebrows, though small, when missing makes one look almost inhuman. If anything, I can now sympathisize with dear Wormtounge from Lord of the Rings and that guy in Arrested Development who had that hair condition, though I'm sure I'm being dramatic. Anyone remember that guy's name by the way? To clarify, I still have both eyebrows. It's just that one looks a tad more devil may care. I'm bound to draw it in for the next four months it takes to regrow.

If you're willing to risk cutting your own bangs ladies, be my guest. In the wise words of my Asian friend: "Ma Sur tu cuh na tu fah"... or you will slice off your eyebrow.