It's Cold

Snow outside my home in Texas

Oh, what's a girl to do?

I know I'm due another "recommend" but I suppose that'll have to wait. In the meantime on to my most recent dilemma. It's cold. I know that this is an obvious statement for most everyone as even folks in south Florida experienced 30 degree weather today. But this has compounded my already prevalent issue of lack of structure.

Let me explain.

Last June, whilst sitting at home doing mostly nothing, as I was off from work for the summer, I did what I usually do when I have too much time on my hands. I began to make a list of goals some ridiculous and very close to unattainable and enthusiastically set out on a course towards the acquisition of said goals. These were the two I made in June:

1) Run Half Marathon

2) Memorize Phillipians

How did I do? Well on December 11th I am proud to say that I ran and completed my first Half Marathon. I know. It really was an accomplishment and one that I had to push through many a "I just don't wanna dooo this" moments to get to. Since I hadn't ran, seriously at least, for about a year, I had to start slow. I was training for nearly six months... Make that ALOT of " I just don't wanna do this" moments.

I still haven't memorized Philipians. Maybe I'l re-tackle that one this summer.

Anyway, which brings us into my current quandary. The entire continental United States has been thrust into a crazy bit of a cold-spell and I frankly don't want to run in it. I know, some of you might be saying: "Well, comon Nichole. You already ran 13.1 miles! Give yourself a break." But I have...I've only ran a handful of times since running across the finish line that brisk Saturday morning.

I do want to run but I don't want to. Does that make sense? Of course not. I have a solution though: I will have to register for another Half Marathon.

Let me just be completly frank. Without goals I become a pitiful blob of undirected energy. Summers are a nightmare for me as I spend most of my time not doing anything and the rest of the time hating myself for not doing anything. I need structure. If it were a nice 60 degrees outside I think the issue would be far less pressing. I know some of you hardcore runners are thinking, " She's such a whimp." I am, but I do love to run. I actually enjoyed most of the six months of preparation I had pre-Marathon, and I DID run through rain, sleet and coldness. So I've earned my badge. However, now, with no structure and the warmth of my fireplace and blankets. I seem to have little to no motivation. I'm beginning to feel a bit lumpy dumpty. I really did fear this would happen. I would accomplish something monumental: My Half Marathon and completely lose my endurance and discipline two months later. My children later on passing on the story would answer their little ones questions of what did Grandma in with " Well, my son, it was her lack of goals."

Oh, what's a girl to do?

P.S. I do know that when I get home(in Texas) I'll have my lovely gym to run in. I'm just being a bit venty and dramatic. It's simply these next couple of weeks at home(in Florida) that will prove to be the test of my will. I might have to bite the bullet, run outside and/or otherwise deny any tendencies to self-deprecate.